Patience

Your infant/toddler may try to do certain things that you are not certain they should be doing at this stage. Just now you should encourage positive behavior and have patience.

For example,  during self feeding they will make a mess. They may even throw the food on the floor or the table.  That's normal instead of getting upset and yelling you should say "you don't have to throw it just place it on the table" and once mealtime is over just clean up the mess.

You may give your child their sip cup and as they drink after a while they decide to turn the cup upside down and shake shake shake the contents out onto the floor. Don't get upset or yell. Just say "you don't have to spill the juice". Just clean up the mess. 

You can also make a game of cleaning the mess by giving your little one a wet one to help you clean up the mess. I do that with my son. Sometimes I'm cleaning up his mess and he starts to fuss because he wants to help and so I give him a wet one.

Be well

We share with the community the importance of investing in our infants and toddlers

Daseta Gray and I have been working to share with people the importance of investing in our infants and toddlers.  Daseta is a certified Infant Toddler Specialist in Harlem. Please take a moment to view her segment on Total Faith Show. Please share your thoughts and share with your friends and loved ones.

 

http://wpcommunitymedia.org/community/total-faith-network#!mm-2862http://wpcommunitymedia.org/community/total-faith-network#!mm-2862

Body parts...

When you give your baby a bath your can name the body parts. Yes I know, you are saying but my baby doesn't understand... that's not the point. Repetition is key and over time when your baby is able to start pointing to the parts that are easy to pronounce such as eyes, ears and nose. Over time your toddler will be able to name some of the body parts.

I've been mentioning body parts to my son since he was 5 months old during bath time. Now he can point to his ears. Skills take time that's why it's critical to start the process before your baby starts school.

Share your thoughts

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Total Faith Network - Haim - City of White Plains, NY

Total Faith Network - Haim - City of White Plains, NY

Human interaction

Your baby needs more human interaction rather than TV action. Once in a while it's ok to watch television but you really should try to do activities with your baby.  There are a few age appropriate television programs.

Read age appropriate books, play age appropriate music and dance with your little one.
Play age appropriate games/activities such as building with leggos or using different instruments.

That can become a routine also, it's great practice for when your baby starts going to school.

Share your thoughts

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Parenting... show them love

I know several mothers are single parents.  You may get frustrated at times, however try your best not to take it out on your infant/toddler. Remember they did not ask to be born.

Those emotions are felt by the baby believe it or not... They pick up on everything healthy and unhealthy. They baby will feel unwanted, unloved and unwelcomed. That's not an experience you want for your baby.

Remember you are the mirror to the world.

Cursing is also something that you should try not to do around your baby.  You are your baby's protector...when you look at your baby remember that as long as they are ok nothing else really matters.

Yes I understand you have to be well in order to provide the quality care to your infant/toddler.

I am a single parent and get frustrated at times for several reasons but I use my support system and do not allow it to transfer to my son because I know it's unhealthy.

If you need to vent speak to close friends or join a parent group either face to face meetings or online. There are several parent groups out there just google a few.

Let me know your thoughts

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Development of the inside NOT just dressing the baby cute

Many times I see parents dressing their infants and toddler up as their "dolly". It's great to have your baby look cute on the outside but it's critical to help develop their internal self as well = self confidence.

The activities you do with your infant and toddler will have an effect on them later in their life.

Many times I see toddlers that can not take their coat off or make the attempt because their parent did not allow the toddler the opportunity to "try".  Developing self esteem, self confidence and self discipline may seem like skills that should be learnt or taught when your child gets to school.  The reality is these are building blocks of a healthy strong social and emotional foundation of self.

Allow your toddler the opportunity to try actions and activities before you run in to assist.

I do that with my son and when he needs help he indicates to me that he needs help OR i read his cues and assist him. I am always near by but I allow him the opportunity to try. For example, if they are working on a puzzle (3 large sized pieces with the large knob) over time he will try to place the pieces in the base on his own, he may become frustrated because he can't get the piece in the correct section.  At that point you can assist, the important thing is YOU allowed your toddler the opportunity to TRY build self confidence and celebrate the fact they tried.

Be well

Baby and Wee March 24

We had a great class yesterday. We  read multicultural stories,we painted we played with developmental toys. We worked on cognivite skills, fine motor skills and gross motor skills. Our classes are designed to show moms how to give social,emotional readiness skills to their babies. We discussed self-esteem .

Play time

As your little ones grows play with your toddler. This will help them learn how to play and pretend; it will not be a foreign concept to them when they get to school.

Be well

Practicing self feeding

Parents when your toddler is ready to start trying to feed themselves please please give them bite size portions.  You want to encourage self confidence and self reliant. It also aids in self discipline with eating, they are not forced to eat large portions causing a potential for obesity.

A few months ago I went by a client to pick something up and went during breakfast time the children were 3- 4 years old. They were served waffles and eggs. The waffle was an adult size.

I advised the teachers they should break up the waffle so it is easier for the children to handle. The teacher responded (as I watched one child struggle to bite the large waffle) oh we are waiting until all the children get their food.

The correct approach is to break up the waffle before give the plate to your child. When it's time to eat your toddler does not understand the concept of "wait" they want instant gratification.

This advice is for both home and the school setting. If you need to visit the school during breakfast or lunch do just that to see how your little is being treated.

Be well

Age appropriate toys

Several months ago we posted about age appropriate books and now we'll talk about age appropriate toys.

Sometimes we purchase toys that look cute, but have you stopped to wonder if that toy will assist in your baby's cognitive development or strenghten their fine motor skills.

Here are a few manufacturers that make great age appropriate toys:

Melissa & Doug
Baby Einstein
Leapfrog

If you have questions about a toy feel free to post a comment or send us an email.

Be well

Don't be afraid to recycle

Ok parents.. the information that I share are things I experience...

If you are unable to afford the $200 stroller, feel free to visit a second hand shop a.k.a a thrift store and purchase one. All you have to do is sterilize it.

Your other option is to join a few different parent listservs or groups. Many times parents will do baby item exchange or sell items at a reasonable price.

We all know items for infants and toddlers are very expensive are we could place those funds in other areas for our baby.

I belong to several parent groups and I hardly purchase items for my son who is now 17 months old.

Try it out and let me know what you think...

Be well

Caring for your baby

Letting your baby know you are concerned about their well being starts early in the process. Just because they can not speak does not mean they are unaware of the treatment they receive. It will have a lasting impact on them and as they get older it will be reflected on how they react to you and to others around them.

Today I was in the train and saw a woman with an infant, the baby was probably 2 months old. The baby was bundled up in a blanket and had padding behind, the infant was in a stroller meant for a 2 year old.

This is a clear example that the parent is not considering the baby's comfort.  I am not passing judgement on the parent, however you must be mindful as to how you should care for your baby in terms of their comfort.

You are their mirror to the world, the way you treat them is how they think THEY should be treated by others.

Being creative

Some observations this week with my grandson
Yesterday he put a cup on his head  as it it was a hat. He looked at me with a big smile on his face.
One day he used the remote for the TV as a phone
This is what I mean when I mentioned that infants/toddlerrs  will use items creatively.Observe your infant/toddler this week and let us know  how she has used items creatively. You must allow that opportunity.Do not interrupt the process when she is being creative.

Social emotional school readiness skills

Creativity and Inventiveness birth-18mos
You should provide toys that your infant/toddler csn interact with . The toys should have differnt things that your baby can do,the baby should be able to pull,push,it should make sounds,etc.  You can also provide house hild items that will allow your infant/toddler to be creative such as an old phone,a hat a shoe.
18mos-36mos
You should use whole language and  open ended questions and descriptive language   with your  infant/toddler. For example you can say "give your cup to mommy". Following directions is a very important skill that your baby needs for school. You begin with ine directive and gradually add another one. for example : pick up your cup and put it on the table. You should demonstrate for your infant/toddler.You ahould provide props for your infant/toddler to engage in pretend play.
36-60mos
Talk with your infant/toddler about what  she has seen,heard,or done. Provide different experiences for your child. Help child remember experiences with vidoe,photos and souvenirs.You can also create a scrap book for your  child.Speaking with your child is very important.

Social/emotional school readiness

Reflection and Interpretation
birth -18mos
You should interact with child in  a predictable way and be consistent . infants/toddlers learn from you being consistent . Provide infant/toddler with toys  and objects that that react to specific actions. Provide oppoerunities that will allow  your infant/toddler to try the same actions on a different object.(eg  if you baby has a drum you will notice that he will drum on any surface).You should not say "that is not a drum" allow your infant/toddler to be creative and explore .Your infant/toddler is a scientist who is always exploring , allow the natrual curiosity to develop.
18-36mos
You should think out loud with your baby. Talk out things with your baby  you can say it is time to clean up do you remember where to put the trucks?Using descriptive language with your baby .  You should also provide items that are  similar  but provide different results for example- you can puy dry beans in diddernt containers,sone in a plastic bottle,some in a tin can and some in a paper container. Discuss the sounds that they make and how they are different.
36-60mos
When you read a story help child to reflect by asking  do you remember what went on n the story? Just review a small part with your toddler.Your toddler  must have access to books . Leave board books on the floor in a bin where your child have access to them.

Social emotional school readiness

Persistence and attentiveness birth-18mos
You should provide space  that will allow your nfant/toddler to work on a task without interruptions. Children love to play with pots ,pot covers and spoons. Allow your infant/toddler to play without you interrupting her. This is the roots of learning how to sit and complete a task.

18mos-36mos
You should limit the amount of distractions in the enviornment and this will help your infant/toddler to  develop her attention span.(for example turn off the  T.V  while your infant/toddler is playing). You can play some children music in the  background  that is not very loud.This will help your infant/toddler to begin learning how to multi-task.The music should be age appropriate.

36mos-60mos
 You should praise your infant for her persistence and concentration. You can say wow you are doing such a wonderful job.You should allow activitives that your baby can accomplish becuse you want  to build self-esteem. Your infant/toddler needs to feel competent.Read stories to your infant /toddler this helps them to learn how to focus.

You are your child's first teacher

The other day I was walking down the street with my son and I saw a family walking ( mother, father and 3 children). One of the kids probably 9 years old almost knocked me and my son down. I started to say something to the child, "be careful" the father looked at me as if I cursed at his son.

I said to the father, "If you don't say something to him he will not learn." the father said, "did he hurt you" (the father watched the entire incident occur). I said he almost did, but if you don't say something to him he will never learn.

Parents keep in mind that you are your child's first teacher. Even as a toddler you explain in simple words why they shouldn't or should do something as time goes on they will understand more an more. Don't just say,"don't do that" let them know why they should not do it.

Be well

Curiosity and interest

birth-18mos
You should provide support for you infant/toddler if she is scard of an item. You should touch the item first to sohow that it is safe.Provide items with different textures,sounds and shape.
18-36 mos
When you are outside with your child talk about what you are doing. Talk about what ia happen as you walk.Introduce new concept as you naith talk.
23-60 months
Help child find answer to their own questions by investigating. You can play games that will encourage and inspire the child's curiosiy.

Social/Emotional School Readiness

Approaches to Learning

Before your baby gets to kindergarten she should have the following skills

• Should be curious about learning and shows an intrest:Your child should have a desire tolearn new things
• Should  take initiative: Your infant/toddler should be ready to take on task,volunteer to participate when there is a learning opportunity  any your baby should be able to take some risk while learning.
• Should be persistent and be attentive: Your  infant/toddler should be to be focused on an activity although there may be distractions or frustration.
• Your baby should be creative and inventive;Your baby should be able to move beyond  her current knowledge and to explore.
• Your baby should be able to reflect and interpret;Your infant/toddler should be able to think about,understand and apply knowledge  to future learning.

Play

Play is very important for you baby to learn how  to do. This is a skill that your baby needs for school. You should plays games with your baby; such as peek-a-boo, chasing games, and the tickle game. You can  invent  games thay you and your baby will play. Play allows your baby to laugh ,which is a healthy  thing. Provide items that your baby can play with .
Play keeps your baby happy.Play allows your baby to pretend.

Mirror Image

Parents please remember that your child picks up on everything. They may not act out the negative behavior they are seeing on a regular basis right away but eventually they will.

I've witnessed parents arguing in front of their infant/toddler. Or they yell at the infant/toddler. All that behavior does over time is create a negative environment for the baby. It will be internalized and surface at a later date.

Be very mindful of the language you and other people use around your infant/toddler.

Be well

Exposure is key

Though your child is young and can not articulate what they want you should still take them out to different places. This allows them to socialize but also to learn different behaviors for different situations.

You can teach how to follow directions, how to share and cooperate.

I took Ajani to the Brooklyn Children's Museum over the weekend and he had a great time as he always does. He wanted to go down the slide but was going from the opposite side, I explained to him he has to go around to the other side. As I explained we did the action at the same time. Over time he will remember which end to start from. It also eliminates a potential accident by another child coming down as he's trying to go up the incorrect end.

Be well

Age appropriate expectation

You should remember that development happens in stages  you must keep in mind that youe expectation must be age appropriate. Your child's development will  be  based on your help through the differnt stages. Brain development is most rapid during ages 0-3 . You must give your infant/toddler a number of experiences that will facilitate  brain development.
You should also have a variety of toys that  your infant/toddler is able to reach when she wants to play. Having them at eye level allows the child to make a  dicision by choosing what she wants to play with.

Negociating skills

It is very important to teach your infant/toddler how to negociate . When children are not talking they cry for things  because they are not able to express their need  with words. You ave to be  able to read their cues or their sign language. Sometimes you know whar they want but they are not able to have it. This is when you need to negociate. My grand son usually trie to take up my phone and when I remove it he begins to cry. I explain to him that he cannot play with my phone because it is not a toy. There is an old cell phone that we have . I usually give that one to him and explains that he can play with that phone. Sometimes he throws it on the floor. I allow him to calm down and I would pretent to answer the phone " hello do you want to speak with Ajani he is  here". I hand him the phone and he place a big smile on his face  and began playing. I did not focus on his unacceptable behavior.With time he will understand that my personal phone is not a toy.

I speak on the importance of investing in our infants and toddlers..

I thank you for your support. I had an opportunity to be on a cable network. Click on the link below to watch the segment.


http://wpcommunitymedia.org/community/total-faith-network#!mm-2862

Please share your thoughts.

Exploring

Your 18mont old is now exploring  his space . He is putting everything in his mouth and climbing on everything. do not scare her allow her to take risk just make the space safe and when she falls do not get too excited. She will  look at you to see your reaction. You should remain calm once she is not hurt just reasure her that everything is ok and she will be up and about in a minute.if you are excited she will be also remember that you are her mirror to the world . you are also teaching her how to be resiliant .

Guidiance- self regulation

Is the  way that we introduce infants/toddlers to socially acceptable behaviors in our society.Guidance teaches discipline. Your goal is to have children  managing themselves,their emotions , their bodies,and their  social interactions in a positive. This is called self regulation.Children who are able to manage these will be ready for school and life. This takes patience,repetition and at times being firm but in a loving way.You should also negociate with your infant . These skills are needed for life and the roots are planted during the infant/toddler years.

Guidance

It is very important for caregivers to guide young children towards  socially acceptable behaviors. Yesterday I visited the Brooklyn Children's museum and the  area had in children  ages 0- to about 6 years old. An older child was running and pumbed into a  toddler. The parent of the older child did not explain to her child that running was not an obtion as the space did not allow for that ativity. She did not explain that "you must be careful because the  space is crowded. She just told him to say sorry. Guidance is very important with young children because guidiance teachers self-discipline.Please guide your infants/toddlers toward acceptable behaviors.Do not focus on the  unacceptable behavior.You should praise your infant/toddler for pro-social behavior.

Guidance-prevent suspensions

When your infant/toddler is guided  towards pro-social behavior it will make his pre-school experience a pleasure. Many three year olds are being suspended from childcare programs in the nation. Boys are almost five times more likely to be suspended than girls and expelled from kindergarten.Your infant/todder should be give the social/emotional skills for school during the infant/toddler years.