Setting limits and learning consequences

Setting limits is a critical part of your child's developmental milestone under social skills.


If you say to her it's time to clean up and then we can play with the ball and she does not clean up; You could say to after you give her the first directive and she does not begin to clean up and continues to play, "if you don't clean up we will not play with the ball".


You tell her again to clean up. She still does not and she wants the ball. After you clean up let her know there will be no ball time right now. It is very important you explain to her why there is no ball time right now. You could say, "I asked you to clean up, you did not and I said there would be no ball time if you did not clean up."  She may cry or fuss, it's ok as you must set the limits and ensure she begins to understand consequences.




Here is an example of something that happened not too long ago which inspired this entry (seeing my daughter with Ajani).


Ajani was watching Little Einsteins and began to through his dinosaurs. His mom told him to stop. He paused then started throwing the dinosaurs, his mom said, "if you continue to through the dinosaurs I will turn off your show." His response, "No". He threw another. His mom got up, reminded him in a stern voice he should not have thrown his toy and turned off his show (as she walked to turn off the program she reminded him why she was doing it).


He fussed, when he stopped she asked him, "why did I turn off your show?" his response, "because I threw the dinosaur". My response, "that is correct".


The important items: he didn't fuss for long--Self sooth; I explained why there was a consequence; most important he could tell me why. All of these are part of Social skills