Stability is critical

Many families are single parent households raising infants and toddlers. Even though the other parent isn't in the house you still need to be on the same page regarding stability for your infant/toddler. When you are stable you are able to provide
1- consistency
2-routines

2 items that are important in their development. If you are floating around (I know sometimes it is hard to avoid) but try your best to be consistent and stable. When you have to constantly start over you confuse your child especially since their brain is still developing. How can key components of the brains neurons connect to the synapses if they don't have the opportunity to develop?

Imagine when you are not stable as an adult you are confused, just think of the impact it has on your infant/toddler. Just because they can not speak or articulate does not mean they are not affected by the changes in their environment. If you are in tune with their cues you will notice how they are affected.

Be well

 

The test for a 24month old...are you on point or behind?

Ajani is now 2 years old and I decided to see where he is developmentally based on the test they give 2 year olds when you want to enroll them in school.

Save this information it will help you to know some things you should work on before your baby turns 24 months old. Yes I said a test... this is what helps the experts determine if your 2 year old is "behind". We've posted other blogs about your infant/toddler being behind but now you will have more concrete examples as to what we've been speaking about (and the reason we created this blog for parents).

1- Able to identify body parts: mouth, feet, ears, head, arms, tongue etc. (they don't need to know all of them but they should be able to identify at least 4).

2- Gross motor skills: Able to walk backwards 4 steps; Able to jump off the floor with both feet (it doesn't have to be high); Able to stand on 1 foot (balancing is also contacted to a section of the brain. They don't have to stand on 1 foot for long)

3- Picture vocabulary: She is able to recognize and name pictures: examples--apple, cat, dog, hat, airplane, key, car

4- Identifies people in picture naming: man (father, dad, daddy, papa, gentleman); girl (sister or daughter); woman (mother, mom, mommy, mamma, lady); boy (brother or son)

5-Knows use of objects: car, bed, chair

6- Visual motor skills: She is able to stroke or scribble with a crayon (this is why we said it is important to provide her with her own little notebook she can access at anytime to practice writing. It also helps her to strengthen the muscles in her fingers); There is a point system for being able to write well controlled and frequently lose contact with the paper OR well controlled and seldom lose contact with the paper.

7- Verbal fluency: She is able to use 2 words that relate in combination for example ???; At least 1/2 of her speech is coherent for example can clearly say a phrase; She is able to use 3 words that related in combination for example??? I can see
 

Harlem mommy and me classes

 

 

 

 

Please share with other parents (expectant and newborn - age 3)

We also conduct   PoP up sessions... The next class will in Harlem.

 October 12 th 2013

Time: 10:00am-11:00am

Beulah Wesleyan Methodist Church
219 West 136 St (btwn Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd & Frederick Douglass Blvd)

NY, NY 10030

 Cost: $25 per family

This class will teach parents how to work with their infants and toddlers to develop the cognitive, social and emotional skills before they start school. We will also give them tips on activities they can do at home with their baby. This will not be your ordinary parenting class. We answer the "why" these activities are being done, which  component  of  the brain is being developed also known as domain.


 We also conduct pop up classes and could do a special session for your group members in an area you select.

 

 

A healthy brain is built with healthy relationshiops

Last week  I was speaking to a four year old who was taken out of his childcare program by his care giver  while she look for another school home for him. He is behind in his fine motor, cognitive skills and social and emotional skills. You may ask why did I say this?  He is not able to tie his laces, he cannot cut with a scissors, and he cries like a baby when he is upset so you get the picture.
I asked him if he missed his friends he said yes but he was put in the time out chair. I asked him why was he put in the chair "because I did not want to eat my vegetable" he responded. As I listened to the four year old I wondered how many four year olds are experiencing this trauma  in their daycare center. A child should not be punished because they do not want to eat. Adults  should know that most young children are picky eaters . This child may never want to eat vegetables because of the negative experience that he will associate with it.

I do not eat chocolate and the main reason- when I was a child I was forced to take X-lax it is a chocolate flavored laxative . I hated the taste but had to eat it because there was an adult standing with a belt over you. Adult behaviors with young children (The First 2000 Days) can cause life long trauma and disorders  and anti- social behaviors. You should be mindful of the consequences of your behavior when you interact with  young children.

Helping or Hindering

As your toddler is developing they will be exploring their environment, and it's ok once it's in a safe space. Your toddler may try to pull items, push items, jump and climb all of this is normal allow them the opportunity to do these activities. She may also try to put her arm through her shirt herself, encourage it. She may want to try and hold the fork or spoon to feed herself. Encourage it. If you don't then you will hinder their development. Remember the brain develops in stages.

When neurons are not used their  synapse connections decrease. In order to support neuron development in infants and toddlers you must have a positive environment that is responsive to the children’s need.

v  They need many opportunities to practice new skills and explore the environment within safe boundary

v  Infants should be provided with a lot of sensory experiences and encourage movements and playfulness

By doing this it will help with the next level of development.  Remember the brain develops in stages. These functions are specifically tied to

 

Frontal lobe–

the part of the brain located behind the forehead that is involved in critical thinking, problem solving, planning, reasoning, and decision making

 

These skills are critical for both school and life. You think you are helping but in reality you are hindering a necessary development.

 

 

 

Be well

Vocabulary - Language development

Yesterday I counted the amount of words that Ajani is able to say and I counted 72 words that he clearly says . I may have missed a few but that is a large vocabulary for a child that is not two years old as yet. This all depends on you speaking with your baby ,naming items at home, reading  with your baby and also allowing your baby to read alone by providing age appropriate books for her. When your baby watchers a DVD it should be educational and you should select which television  program she should watch. All these experiences help to build a healthy brain and get your baby ready for reading and speaking in sentences. Having a great vocabulary helps to build self-esteem. Most learning takes place from 0-3 years old and you are preparing your toddler for school.

Is your baby prepared for learning?

You have been working with your baby since you brought her home by getting her ready for school. She is now two years old and   should be able to focus, sit for a few minutes ,is able to play with you and independently, is able to list to music and sing along and follow directions among other things.

She begins to notice things more,  you can now introduce her to her favorite letter. You only need to show it to her once and then add it to her play items. Today (9-15-13) I introduced Ajani to the letter  T  . It is written on a piece of material .I said to him Ajani look at this it is the letter "T" I then gave him the piece of material. Ajani took the letter he laid on his back and began staring at it and touching it as he said :t t t t-t   I observed him as he studied the letter. I continued with my choirs as he was left to continue his learning. Learning is fun and exciting at this age and there is no pressure because young children are like sponges .

Early years and good health - The First 2000 Days

First 2000 days can set the pace for good health of poor health according to a study that was done by the Robert Wood  Johnson foundation. They have found a large body of evidence that ties experiences in early childhood with health throughout life particularly in your adult years.

Social and economic factors such as income, education and neighborhood resources, affect health at every stage of life, but the effects on young children are particularly dramatic. They feel that  earliest years of our lives( The  first 2000 days) are crucial in many ways; these years set us on paths leading toward--or away from--good health.
They have  examined how social and economic conditions shape children's health and the strong evidence that social disadvantages experienced in childhood can limit children's opportunities for health throughout life.  You can see more at www.rwjf.org

General knowledge

Schema - when you use prior knowledge to  interpret new or associate items/experiences  . Today the baby and his mom was looking in a book of pictures she was asking him to name different items when pointed to the  cow he said Moo-moo he is not able to say the word cow but he is able to associate the sound with cow because he has experience with seeing and hearing a cow. That is why it is very important for you to  take you baby to different places. Your two year old should have a rich vocabulary but that wont happen if you do not help to build it. There is a list of words that a two year old should know you can find this on line. Keep in that you must speak with your baby in order to develop her vocabulary.

Play- before your baby is two

Play is very important . You should teach your baby how to play by playing with her.  You should also allow your baby to  play alone. Babies love to play music you can give her a pot and a spoon and she will stay there for a few minutes. When babies are engaged in an activity that they like or choose they will engage for a while. This is also gives them a chance to practice self-discipline ,the idea of sitting down and doing projects. You should also purchase toys that are engaging ,the child will be able sit and interact with the toy. You are preparing your baby for school and this is a skill that is needed .If you do not teach these skills and your baby get to pre-school and is not able to sit still, has a short attention span she may be referred for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or she may be considered hyperactive. These behaviors can be avoided if quality care is given during the years 0-3.
Give you baby a hat to play with and discuss on/off with her  ex. I see you have on your hat.
Give your baby a small broom and a dust pan. They activities are also pre-writing skills
These skills must begin early as they take time and your baby should have enough time to practice. Learning should feel good.

Emotions - The First 2000 Days

Your baby is now two years old and is learning how to handle her impulsive behaviors. She is not able to wait for anything because that section of  her brain that is responsible for conscious, voluntary actions is not fully developed as yet(the cerebral cortex). She will begin to throw herself on the floor when she does not get what she wants in a minute, she will begin hitting you or anything that is close by. You need to explain to her that she will get what she wants soon this behavior will continue for a while but you need to be consistent with your discussion be calm and you will need to be patient. Once your two year old is able to express her needs she will not be so impulsive. Alpha - linolenic  is a part of the brain that is responsible for receiving and integrating emotions and emotional information.

The Brocas Area is located in the frontal lobe of the brain and it controls the production of spoken words and written language. Your two year old is  working on the development of speech ,however you have to help her by speaking with her and helping her to expand her  language skills. That is why it is very important that you speak with your baby in a calm tone. The cerebellum is the second part of the brain that develops therefore you need to keep this in mind but you must help to build the other areas  as they are  in the process of developing.
With a young child all the domains of the brain  must be developed  at the same as you can see they work hand in hand .

 Once you have an understanding of how the brain develops it will help you through  year number two.

Pre writing skills

This is a pic from one of our classes. Painting is a pre-writing skill that is very important. You can begin finger painting at four months old. It is very important for  children's finger and wrist muscles are  developed . Finger painting is one way of developing fine motor skills. Finger painting is  one way to develop fine motor. There are a number of activities that you  should  do   in in order to develop the brain.

Communicating - with your care giver

As school begins it is very important that you establish a line of  communication with your child's caregiver. Communication is very important. You should also request a daily written  report (daily sheet for infants/toddlers). This is one way to  be informed of your infant/toddler progress and the activities that she is doing  during the day. You should also look at the ten keys for quality care the site is listed on the right side of the bolg. Quality is very important because when your baby gets to kindergarten there are certain skills that she must have ,however those skills need to be growing during the infant/toddler years.

Yes it is called getting your baby ready for school this process begins the first day that your baby home. It is vey important that you give your baby her social, emotional and cognitive skills before three years old. You will need to ask your care giver if  they are working on these skills also.
 We posted what these skills are a few weeks back  you can do a search on the blog and just review them.

We would like to here from you so please leave a comment.

Observation

I am in Maryland . I went to have breakfast and there is an female in the area with a child that is about seven years old. The child spilled something on the floor ,the adult put a few napkins over it ,the child   put her foot on the napkin with the intention to wipe it up but instead she is spreading it because she is moving her foot from side to side. I said to her" you are spreading it you need to just use your hand", the girl looked confused. The  adult turns around and said "move doofy".
The adult then cleaned up the mess.
That was a teaching moment to show the girl how to scoop up the spill with her hand  instead of spreading it with her feet. That is what guidance is but many caregivers feel like it's best for them to do it and get it over with and miss the moment.

I was still in the dining area and another girl (about 8 years old) served her self some grits and eggs in a bowl. An adult male came over to her, grabbed the dish away and said " you are so greedy " he scraped out some of the contents and gave her back the container.  He could have explained that taking too much food is not a good  choice  instead she should take a little and if she needs more she should get a second serving.

Routines-teaches life skills

School is starting and you will be on the run going crazy in the mornings trying to get yourself and the kid ready for the that mad dash through the door. It is very important that you establish a routine for the family. Routine teachers organization, planning and it lessens stress and anxiety for you and your infant/toddler. These are a few things that you may want to start with:
Have a set time that you eat dinner
Do not put your baby to bed with a bottle
Bathe the baby in the night
Back her bag  in the night
If you will be taking food put it in one  bag in the fridge
Use the same bag for lunch and keep it in one spot
Select the clothing  from the night before
Wake up on time this will avoid  stress for your infant/toddler
Keep a wall calendar that all family members can see
Read all  childcare notices
You should also have a pocket calendar that you will be able to check during the day
When you have a routine it helps you to stay organized and you are teaching your infant/toddler  to be organized. You are also teaching time management. If you have older children let one of them be in charge of the calendar.
These are life skills .

Please  take some of good

Attatchement and conscience-First 2000 days

There was a study that was done and it shows that positive relationships during the infant/toddler years with caring adults become the foundation for conscience  and it also helps them to do well in school(Perry 2001)  . They concluded that children with poor attachment are harder to teach because they  feel  little pleasure from teacher's worm encouraging words. They do not regret being a disappointment to adults. Children with strong attachment do better  in school  they are more likely to cooperate, have fewer behavior problems and love learning.
That is why it is very important that you help your infants/toddlers to respond  positive praise.
If at home you are yelling to your toddler when she gets to school she expects to be treated that way  because you are her mirror to the world.

Our next slass Will be This Saturday September 14th

Saturday, Sept 14, 2013

Time: 10:00am-11:00am

Beulah Wesleyan Methodist Church
219 West 136 St (btwn Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd & Frederick Douglass Blvd)

NY, NY 10030

 Cost: $25 per family

This class will teach parents how to work with their infants and toddlers to develop the cognitive, social and emotional skills before they start school. We will also give them tips on activities they can do at home with their baby. This will not be your ordinary parenting class. We answer the "why" these activities are being done, which  component  of  the brain is being developed also known as domain.


 We also conduct pop up classes and could do a special session for your group members in an area you select.

 

We also have a parent blog it can be translated into any language and you can subscribe to receive new posts daily. www.sabreeharlemparents.com

 

I thank you for your time. See you at the next class

 

Language Development- The first 2000 days

September 5th,
We were in the care and Ajani said to his aunt "he said  stop" he was referring to has mom. That is his first sentence  he will be two years old the end of this month. He has been hearing language since he came home from the hospital. A few months ago I visited a friend and I was speaking with Ajani and my friend said to me "you are talking to him like he is five years old". Many adults do not understand that the first three years of life  is critical for brain development. This is the time when you have to put the roots down for life skills  , self-esteem, social emotional skills, cognitive development and a number of other skills.
Babies are born wired to learn but you must provide the  experiences in order for their brain to develop.

Guidance - Brain development

Your baby is two years old and guidance is very important during this time. Many people confuse guidance and discipline. Guidance teaches discipline. Your toddler is now hitting you when you remove her from an activity that is not safe. You need to explain to her that ,hitting hurts and that is not nice to do  pretend that you are crying. This concept will take your toddler a few sessions before she understands. Once she has more vocabulary she will be able to express her needs and frustrations  by using her words. You have to be patient  because love and guidance goes hand in hand.

Focus on “Do’s” Instead of “Don’ts”-tell  your infant/toddler what you want them to do .Toddlers do not understand stop and no. They  will comply when they know what  you  expect  of  them. If your child   is reaching for another child, say touch gently and demonstrate for the child. The infant will begin to learn that there are different touches. Introduce the following   words   soft, slowly and carefully. If your child is throwing things you can  say to the child, Joey that is not how we treat our toys , let me help you to put them where they belong.
Your child is throwing because that is  new discovery that she has made. Young children learn throw discoveries and they are impulsive ,they do what comes to mind. You have to guide them by letting them know what behaviors are acceptable .You are teaching your toddler discipline  by guiding  them. This is called socialization. They are learning rules.

The roots of socialization- Must be taught during the infant/toddler years

Your baby  has learned how to  throw  things and how to kick. Ajani has  been throwing things  for the past two months he throws his ball among other things. He has a bin of books on the floor and he usually throw the books all over the floor  then  he use the  container to stand on to reach things. He was practicing his new skill plus just  reacting to him emotion . In other words he does not know the difference because the ability to reason has not developed as yet. He has now learned how to throw things. Now he has to be taught that he cannot through everything . This evening he began throwing his books over the floor. I sat beside him and showed him how to stack the books on each other. "Ajani let's stack the books on each other instead of throwing them all over the floor, I said to him. I began taking out the rest on the books. "Look you don't have to throw them you just need to stack  them and then you can use the container". He sat and stared at  me as I take the books one by one and stack them on each other.
He is learning what behavior is acceptable and he is being socialized.
If you do not teach your infant/toddler acceptable behaviors when he gets to preschool he will  not  understand what is social   acceptable  behaviors. Then he will be labeled as a problem.

 I will observe to see if he will stack the books instead of throwing them all over the floor.   I will also observe how many times will I need to model that behavior for him before the behavior will become a part of his practice.
Learning for infant/toddlers is a process and the care giver must be consistent and patient.  Just remember that once your toddler begins to model that positive behavior he will practice it for life.

Our next baby and wee class- to kick off our fall season

Please share with other parents (expectant and newborn - age 3)

We also conduct   PoP up sessions... The next class will in Harlem.

 

Saturday, Sept 14, 2013

Time: 10:00am-11:00am

Beulah Wesleyan Methodist Church
219 West 136 St (btwn Adam Clayton Powell Jr Blvd & Frederick Douglass Blvd)

NY, NY 10030

 Cost: $25 per family

This class will teach parents how to work with their infants and toddlers to develop the cognitive, social and emotional skills before they start school. We will also give them tips on activities they can do at home with their baby. This will not be your ordinary parenting class. We answer the "why" these activities are being done, which  component  of  the brain is being developed also known as domain.


 We also conduct pop up classes and could do a special session for your group members in an area you select.

 

We also have a parent blog it can be translated into any language and you can subscribe to receive new posts daily.www.sabreeharlemparents.com

 

I thank you for your time. See you at the next class

 

Attachment- Brain development

Research has found that the development of higher level thinking skills depends on love and attachment. The chart below (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) demonstrates the need of a human being starting with your infant.

These items are done in stages

Language development- The First 2000 Days

Yesterday I was in Washington DC  and I was having lunch in a deli . A couple was sitting beside me with a baby that was about 6 months old. They were sitting at the counter on high chairs and the baby is in her stroller. I looked over and the baby was playing with her bottle, the parents are busy talking with each other it is now five minutes later  and the mother reaches over and takes the bottle away.

No  verbal communication was done. When the mother noticed that the  baby is playing with the bottle she should have asked ;are you finish drinking your milk?  and when she takes the bottle she should have said wow Sharon you are a big girl did a good job finishing  your milk .

In order for babies to develop their language skills they need to hear language. It is a few minutes and the male picks up the baby and puts her to sit on his lap but there is not verbal communication between him and the baby . The two adults begin talking among them selves the baby is looking around.

This was a great opportunity to speak with the baby and point out different  things to the baby in the deli. Language does not begin at two years old the development of the language section of the brain is always developing.

The baby had no toys to interact with on her stroller or the car seat. Brain stimulation is very important.

The First 2000 Days Campaign -A healthy start begins with a healthy brain

This post was done on Tuesday  of this week  one of my readers emailed me and pointed out that  that I  forgot  to add "not" in the title without the word it sure changes the message. I would like to thank my reader for the email. This is what learning is about we each help . Thanks.

Where you are born should  NOT determine your destiney - The first 2000 days

When will we begin the conversation about the importance of  quality infant/toddler  care in our communities? Please take a look and share with your friends.

The Raising of America: Early Childhood and the Future of our Nation (56 min) - Watch Preview
Supporting Episodes
(25 min each; working titles)

• Are We Crazy About Our Kids? The Cost/Benefit Equation
• Body Politic: A Brief History of Child and Family Policy
• DNA Is Not Destiny: How the Outside Gets Under the Skin
• Healing the Hurt: A Trauma Informed Approach
• Stressing Out the Poor? Building Community Resilience

Consistentency

It is very important that you develop a routine with our infant/toddler. You should put her to bed the same time and play the same song for bed time, when she hears the song she knows what time it is. You should play soothing music. Sometimes she will try to get up from her bed just calm her down and help her to relax. You should also develop a morning routine, do the same things  every the same way . Your baby should be able to go through the routine like wild fire. You need to do this outline long enough until your infant/toddler gets it. You need patience and patience.

Attachement that is secure

As school begins it is very important that your infant/toddler has secure  attachment. Loving trusting relationships result in trust. The child know that they can count on you to be attuned to their feelings and to respond quickly and  positively. This is very important when you take your toddler to a sitter, daycare etc. I remember taking my daughter to the baby sitter and she never cried when I leave and the baby sitter  could not understand. She had a secure relationship .She also learned that I would always come back to get her and that her needs would be met. She started with the baby sitter when she was 11 months and that is the only baby sitter she has had. She has a chance to develop a relationship with the family of the baby sitter. She is now 15 and goes to visit when she can.

Attatchment- brain development

Is  a strong emotional bond that is formed between care givers and an infant/toddler, this bond begins with the mom just after the baby is born. This grows with the adult/s that care for the child daily. This adult will help the infant to understand different emotions. It is critical  that  the same adult cares for your child if she is in a childcare setting. Relationships is what matters in order to build a healthy brain. It is important for infants/toddlers to have positive relationships with caring adults. When children have positive relationships with adults they know that their needs will be met and they learn to trust the adults who care for them.

Guidance- Brain development

Now that your baby is two years old  guidance  is  very important at this stage. Guidance teaches discipline however, it takes time and you must be patient  . Your toddler is testing your limits, learning rules and how to  cooperate authority figures. You must be firm, gently and consistent. Yelling will not help. All the caregivers in the house must be on the same page to avoid confusion (example if you do not want the infant to climb on the table each person should agree to that).The infant is impulsive and will do what comes to mind ,however through your  guidance she will begin to understand the behaviors that are acceptable and the ones that are not. this is the roots of socialization.

Social development- What is it ?

Social emotional development for children under 3 years old -is the ability for the infant/toddler to create and sustain social relationships with adults and other children.as children grow older, their  relationship with peers takes on a greater importance. Children who are able to socialize are generally well liked and have and have plenty opportunities to learn new skills such as  cooperation ,negotiation, appreciation for other children's needs and wrights and the ability and the ability to sometimes put aside their own needs and wants to meet those of others. These skills are built over time.
It is very important for you the parent to help your infant/toddler to develop these life skills . You need to get it right the first time as it is very difficult to rewire the brain. as your get ready for school this is something to keep in mind. Remember that your are building a healthy brain.

Socialization-show empathy to your child

Many times when I  am walking sometimes I observer behaviors that are  unacceptable  for children. Many adults take out their frustration on their infants and toddlers. They speak to them ask if they are not welcome and they are a burden. At times the baby is crying and they adult is standing there chatting with her  friend and smoking. The way you treat your baby  will decide how thy see them selves and others. Babies  did not ask us to bring them here we have a responsible to make them feel welcome into the family and loved. So  you have not seen the father since you told him that you are pregnant, but that does not give you the right to treat your baby poorly. Your family is mad at you also .You are upset and confused. There are several support groups that will help  you. You will be a parent for the rest of your life it is one job that you cannot quiet . It is very important that you seek the support that will help you to become the best parent that you can. Never be afraid to ask for help. Getting support will help you to have empathy and in turn you will give it to your child.

Where you are born should determine your destiney - The first 2000 days

When will we begin the conversation about the importance of  quality infant/toddler  care in our communities? Please take a look and share with your friends.

The Raising of America: Early Childhood and the Future of our Nation (56 min) - Watch Preview
Supporting Episodes
(25 min each; working titles)

• Are We Crazy About Our Kids? The Cost/Benefit Equation
• Body Politic: A Brief History of Child and Family Policy
• DNA Is Not Destiny: How the Outside Gets Under the Skin
• Healing the Hurt: A Trauma Informed Approach
• Stressing Out the Poor? Building Community Resilience

Fine Motor skills- The first 2000 days

Fine motor skills are very important. This allows your baby to practice her pre writing skills. It is very important that your purchase toys that are developmentally appropriate, toys that your baby can interact with and has different parts for movement. You should also provide house hold items. Play dough is a wonderful material also. You should also provide opportunities for your baby to develop her eye muscles, eye hand coordination give your baby things to string. Purchase a large shoe string and provide items with holes. You will need to show your baby the procedure once then leave the items where your baby have access to it. She will get it when she wants to and you will observe her doing the activity. Babies do not like to be interrupted ,this will break the child's focus and an opportunity to discover will be lost.

Trust is important

As your toddler develops they will continue to develop trust as you are their primary care give, their first teacher.

Yesterday I observed a family with 2 young children, age 2 and 3. They wanted the children to move to another area, the children didn't want to come to them. One female adult said, "If you come with me I will get you ice cream". One male adult said to the little boy, "do you want some money".

When you promise or bribe a toddler you must fulfill the promise because they trust you. If you do not you create a situation where they will no longer trust what you tell them.

Be well