Roots of Socialization

Socialization is the gradual ways that all living beings learn the rules of their society. This process is also described as guidance and discipline. This process starts at an early age. Children depend on the adults that care for them to guide and discipline them in order   for them to become socialized to their societal norms and in doing so will become positive   contributors to their society.  When children are taught guidance and discipline they will learn how to self-regulate; which is the ability to control their bodily functions, manage powerful emotions, and maintain focus and attention.

  

Caregivers must be in tune with the children in order to guide and discipline them because each child is different and must be treated based on their need and stage of development. You should remember that every interaction with a child is an opportunity to guide the child. When you guide children you are helping them to learn about themselves, you are teaching them how to negotiate their social environment. You must be a good observer. When guiding children you must: give them limits based on their age, create a safe environment, develop trust and avoid punishment, shame fear or belittling.

We need to ask ourselves how we help young children to learn acceptable behavior through discipline and guidance.    How do we determine the best method that is goodness of fit for each child?

Discipline is a positive constructive way of teaching. True discipline is not punishment. These two are often confused by being defined as the same they are both different in approach and results. Punishment usually gives bad feelings, has a negative effect. Spanking shaming, yelling, criticizing or locking the  child in a room. Punishment may lead to defiance, lying, or sneaking behaviors. You may  express   your anger with the child but this behavior does not teach the child the social lesson that you intended. For example when you slap a child on the hand as she reaches for the hot stove, the child focus on the pain the limit that you are trying to set is lost. Research shows that toddlers who are slapped do not remember why they were slapped.

Discipline teaches compliance by affirming the child’s dignity. Discipline focuses on the rule that you need the child to learn and the good reasons for the rule not on the child’s “wrong doing”. This does not raise feelings of anxiety in the child and rejection. Positive discipline the child’s growing confidence in the world around her. The objective of discipline is to have the child obey rules when you are not around to enforce them. The aim is to build the child’s inner controls, to develop in the child a long habit of governing his or her behavior. This is also referred to as self regulation.

I have observed   these skills develop in my own children. However, the root   of socialization begins in infancy. Babies need time to learn new skills. Learning socially accepted behavior and norms is a long process. Children will learn to cooperate when you provide consistent, loving care and guidance and discipline  allows enough time for children to learn social skills. Young infants flourish in a loving, warm environment where her needs are met. When you responds to your baby’s needs you are not spoiling her you are teaching her that the world is a good place and the caregivers can be trusted. Researchers found that infants whose basic needs for love and care are constantly met are more compliant and cooperative as they grow older than those babies whose needs were not met.

You need to instill confidence through affectionate and trusting relationships in infants and toddlers this is crucial as the child gets older. When toddlers see that you have a concern for their well being they will be more willing to adhere to your social rules, and will behave as you expect them to.

As a caregiver you are responsible for socializing your infants/toddlers .You are the role model and should be careful  with you actions.  A good example is:  yesterday I was walking on 119 and Fredrick Douglas Boulevard and observed a parent with a two young children just walked into the traffic instead of waiting at the corner for the walk sign. Many parents do not socialize their children to adhere to socially acceptable behaviors when they are young. These same children will grow up to become problems later one. Researchers have found that many deviant teens were  not  taught  self discipline,  they were not socialized  and guided during their infant and toddler years.

   

What is self regulation and why it is important? Is defined as a child’s ability to gain control of bodily functions, manage powerful emotions, and maintain focus and attention. The growth of self regulation is the corner stone of early childhood development (Shonkoff &Phillips 2000).Parents and care givers are responsible for guiding the infant and toddler. When you give a toddler a favorite toy to cuddle for naptime or a soft book to hold and is consistent with that routine the infant /toddler learns what to expect and is also learning how to self-regulate. My  seven month old grandson has learned that when you stand beside the stereo there is a possibility the music will come on, every time that his mom  stands beside the stereo he begins looking  up at the stereo and begins to dance. She usually put on the music .  Now he expects the music to come on and he has learned that routine. He has learned that his musical needs will be met when his mom goes to the stereo.

 You should also allow your toddler to develop self-confidence. One   of the   ways   you do this is by not doing everything for your infant once she begins moving around. You should do a lot of observation. Allow your infant to practice her problem solving skills. For example   if  your infant is just learning how to let go and balance, when she falls don’t   create a big deal praise her and say you did a good job. When the child falls and you create a big deal if the child is crying you may discourage to keep trying. You do not want to have the infant to become fearful of trying new things. You should make the space safe so when the child falls she will not get hurt .You should encourage your infant to take risk  .

 Self control and Brain development   goes hand in hand. The experiences   that you give to your   infants and toddlers have an effect on how their brain develops and builds connections between the different parts of the brain. The prefrontal cortex of the brain that is located behind the forehead is responsible for self control. It involves skills like following rules, reasoning, suppressing impulses, and making decisions (Casey et al., 1997).  Nuero-imaging shows that the prefrontal cortex develops from infancy through adolescence.  These   areas of the brains will not be developed if the child does not get the guidance from their care givers.  Have you ever wondered why children of the same age have better self control than others  . These differences is a result of the environment that the child is in, the parenting  style that is used, the child’s temperament, and their genes all contributes to  individual differences in self-control.

Many parents teach their three year olds “ if a child hit, you  should hit them back”. This becomes a problem both for the parent and the child as the child develops. Many of these children grow up and become maladjusted to societal rules.  You cannot bend a tree when it is grown you need to begin when it is a twig. Babies are born with a clean slate and will learn what you write on that slate. Children that  are  not taught  social skills during their infant/toddler years  usually have problems as they develop.

 When you have a baby you must prepare the baby to live in the world therefore you have a responsibility to give her life skills.

 Researchers have found that children can be at risk for self-control problems before they are born.

Babies who are exposed to alcohol before they were born are at risk for self-control problems. Heavy exposure to alto/drugs can lead to structural abnormalities   in the orbitofrontal cortex and other brain regions   involve in self control. Pre-natal exposure to alcohol has been linked to self-control deficits, and increased impulsivity and increased rare of ADHD diagnosis (Mattson, Fryer, McGee &Riley, 2008).

Children who are chaotic environments   also lack the ability to express self control. You should create a calm soothing environment for your infants (toddlers). If a child lives in an environment where she is being yelled at most of the time, this child will not learn self control. The adults   in the child’s environment   are the role model and is responsible for socializing the infant/toddler.

Guidance and caring goes hand in hand. Cooperation and compliance is the root of socialization this begins in infancy. Babies strive in a warm caring, attentive environment. I know that people will say you are spoiling your baby when you respond to your baby’s signal for food, attention, or sleep. You are not spoiling your baby.

 You can teach babies to cooperate in a number of ways   such as not screaming for a bottle. The infant will not fuss only if she has learned that you will bring a bottle when she needs one. One way is by saying   to the infant I know that you want a bottle and I am going to make you one. Let the infant observe you making it. Once you both go through this routine a few times the infant will learn to trust you. I know you are saying   how can the baby understand. Your baby’s brain has been working before they were born. They do understand.

During the infant/ toddler years guidance takes time and requires patience yelling at the child will not help. They need you to restate simple rules, clearly and in a calm voice.

Refrences:

Self Control and the Developing Brain : Zero to three 2009

A Guide to Social Emotional Growth : By West End Sacramento,1090

Setting limits: Prepared   by Rajeswari Natrajan

Socialization and Guidance with infants/Toddlers by Janis Keyser,M.A

American Educator Vol.35.No.1 Spring 2011.pg 33

 -Daseta Gray